In Which I Bake for Cats AKA Just Another Saturday

My daughter has kitten fever. She got a book from the Scholastic book fair a couple of months ago, and has been dying to make Cat Cakes ever since. But I didn’t want to buy sardines or waste parmesan on a cat who probably wouldn’t eat it! I’ve tried giving Thor tuna when we’ve run out of cat food, and he’ll give it a few licks, but he doesn’t get too excited. Our older cat, Mister Pink, never even deigned to lick the tin. He was a kibble man.

Oh! But there was this time Thor ate half a can of Italian tuna my mom bought at, like, $7 a pop. It was caught by trolls with poles or something. Just kidding. I can’t remember the phrase– but it’s something to do with trolls and poles. I always imagine the troll from the Three Billy Goats Gruff changing occupations and becoming a tuna fisherman instead. Anyway, my mom turned her back for a minute, Thor was on it like a pro, and when she saw him she yelled like he was an ex-husband. I thought it was hilarious, of course, since she and my husband didn’t even want to share their fancy tuna with plebes like me and my daughter. I just think $5-7 is a lot to pay for a can of tuna. A single can. It should have truffle infused oil for that price.

But then we got Ruby, and so we decided to give the Cat Cakes a shot. I couldn’t find the book on Amazon, but it’s called I ❤ Kittens, by Melissa Snowden.

Here is the kitten in question. Ruby has recently decided that since she owns the house anyway, she likes to sleep on the couch instead of under it.
Here is the kitten in question. Ruby has recently decided that since she owns the house anyway, she likes to sleep on the couch instead of under it.

Strangely, I found the exact same recipe online– but it’s by a guy named Raymond. So, either Melissa Snowden snagged it from Raymond (his predates the book) or it’s the same guy with a pseudonym. I wonder which one it is? I’m hoping it’s the latter.  I suppose it is possible that Raymond pinched it from Melissa– but the wording is almost verbatim, and the book was published in 2012, while the post is from 2011. Also, he includes the recipe he adapted it from. Why do that, if you are pinching a recipe? That would not make any sense at all. Here is the recipe.

Iso and I quartered the recipe, because I didn’t realize it called for the equivalent of two cans of tuna. As it is, it made four petite patties or muffins– perfect for our picky eaters.

Ignore the butternut squash. The more slender one is my daughter's pet-- she won't let me cook it.
Ignore the butternut squash. The more slender one is my daughter’s pet– she won’t let me cook it.

My daughter and I were totally grossed out by the sardines, but they smooshed up really easily.

It's like an unseasoned crab cake, really. Without crab.
It’s like an unseasoned crab cake, really. Without crab.

Then we took turns mixing it.

Her stuffed cat, Blanca, looks on.
Her stuffed cat, Blanca, looks on.

The more we mixed the ingredients together, the more it looked like people food again, strangely. I was sure the whole house would smell nasty, like cat food, but nope. It was okay. I’m wondering how it tastes, actually. I wonder how badly I would gross my daughter out by sampling it?

Then she spooned the mixture into tin foil baking cups. It didn't seem gross anymore!
Then she spooned the mixture into tin foil baking cups. It didn’t seem gross anymore!
The thing on the left is a squirrel toy made out of construction and crepe papers. On the bottom right is a card my daughter made.
The thing on the left is a squirrel toy made out of construction and crepe papers. On the bottom right is a card my daughter made.

The Cat Cakes were actually part of a larger plan– Ruby Day. Thor was a teen when we got him, and Iso’s never had a tiny kitten before, so she is excited about everything we do with her. She is careful to always include Thor, though, and insists she wants to marry him. Apparently, some of their offspring will be kittens, and some will be humans. I wish I was making this up. She’s almost eight! I can’t tell if she’s pulling my leg, or what.

Thor is too busy getting his belly rubbed-- so Ruby's eating all her party food!
Thor is too busy getting his belly rubbed– so Ruby’s eating all her party food!

My daughter took so long getting all her guests together (up and down the stairs! Up and down!) that when I came downstairs to check that Thor was not nibbling the cooling cakes– I found the guest of honor chowing down on them! Right on the counter! I didn’t even know she knew how to get up there, but she does. When I put the cakes on an out of the way cutting board, she licked the mixing bowl instead. Hungry kitten is hungry. Yet Ruby still managed to find enough room to finish off both of the cakes once the party actually started.

The other guests were selected carefully. There were chickpeas, marbles, and assorted My Little Ponies. Also, a paleontologist and a dinosaur, and a pig riding a motorcycle! And Thor, of course.
The other guests were selected carefully. There were chickpeas, marbles, and assorted My Little Ponies. Also, a paleontologist and a dinosaur, and a pig riding a motorcycle! And Thor, of course.

Of course we had music, too. We listened to the new Foxygen, a rather recent Father John Misty (didn’t think I’d like him, but Oh I Do, I Do) and the new L. Pierre (which is antiquated and not strange, but for some reason makes me thing of Amelie, but without all the accordions. Actually, though, isn’t the Amelie soundtrack just amazing? I love Yann Tiersen, I really do).

This all started at about 10:30 am, so it’s been a whole day for this Ruby Day party. How lucky am I to have a kid so sweet she throws her cats a party? Yet, I could really use a Guinness right about now…

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