The Best Chocolate Chip Cookies in the Whole Wide World

I’ve been not counting calories, exactly, but trying not to snack. I’d like to wear a bathing suit this summer without being super self-conscious. I’ve got a bad history with calorie-counting and looking at scales, so I’m trying to sensibly portion and avoid snacks. Everything was going well. When I felt snacky, I had a big glass of water with a lemon wedge in it. I’ve been doing pilates and having impromptu dance parties around the house (of course, that last bit is the norm, but exercise is exercise!).

But then there was some honey I couldn’t get out of the bottom of the jar for my daughter’s sandwich– and this happened.

When my husband saw this picture, he said, “Get that honey off my AC 30!!!” But this is what happens when amps are your coffee tables, dude.

The honey (Santa Cruz Mountains honey!) had crystallized, so his amp was safe. A friend reminded me I could have heated the bear up to liquify the honey– but this is what no snacking does to me. This is my point. Take away sugar and I lose the ability to reason, and the bear gets it. I took a sharp knife and got the honey out with a spoon. This monkey went to heaven.

Then at 8 at night, I made cookies. What?!

I would like to blame this on hormones, but I can’t. This is what happens when I try to diet. I slice up honeybears and bake cookies. All I can say is, it’s a good thing I am actually at a rather good weight, because if I had to do this for real health reasons, I’d be in big, huge trouble.

To make matters worse, the cookies came out perfectly. I didn’t follow a recipe, like I normally try to do with chocolate chip cookies. Why do I try to follow recipes with chocolate chip cookies, but not other cookies? Because to waste chocolate chips is a felony in this house. It takes a long time to pick the chocolate chips out of failed cookies.

So, here you go:

Best Chocolate Cookies Ever, and I Really Mean it This Time

1 stick of soft salted butter

1 cup dark brown sugar


1 egg

1 capful vanilla

1/2 tsp cinnamon


2 c. white flour

3/4 cup whole wheat flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1 package chocolate chips, semisweet


If this is too dry, then add a tablespoon of milk at a time until it is a thick drop-cookie consistency.

Drop by tablespoonfuls onto a greased cookie sheet and bake at 375 for 12 minutes. Let them cool on the sheet for a few minutes, because they will be very soft. Then get them off with a spatula and set them flat on a rack, where they harden up nicely, but still retain a chewy texture. God. They are not too cakey and not too gooey, but just right.

So, in a way, it is good that I was trying not to snack, or I never would have come up with this cookie recipe.

I took a million pictures, but none of them came out very well. It is difficult to get good lighting in a nighttime kitchen.

“I dream, at night, of going home someday…” — Grandaddy
What, songs don’t play in your head while you eat a really good cookie?

While I made these, I think I was playing the best Spotify playlist ever. Does that make me sound like a teenager with a mixtape? I don’t care. It was The Soft Moon, Lower Dens, Joy Division, Grandaddy, A Place to Bury Strangers, The Raveonettes, and Thee Oh Sees. I’ve been inundating my poor husband with dancy music, so he was glad to have something with droney and/or crashy guitars, I think. Not even he of the golden eardrums turned the speakers down. And I am proud to say that even our child gets all dreamy when Grandaddy comes on.

In the car, I play this. I put all the dancy music in the car now. Also, I think it would be fun to translate the lyrics. Don’t make fun of me. It’s fun translating things, and if you don’t agree, then you are not doing it right.   <span><a href=””>En af Tolv (mklsmpsn rmx)</a> by <a href=””>mikaelsimpson</a></span&gt;


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