In Which I Let Alice Eat Tiny UPS Men

I don’t know what kinds of useful things you do on your first day of Spring Break, but I baked my dog some dog treats. This was done partly out of boredom (I’m at a difficult spot in my novel, don’t judge), partly because I forgot to get some more dog treats at the store, and partly because I have a lot of buckwheat flour which I only use for pancakes and gingerbread, and this stuff doesn’t stay good forever.

Here is the dog in dire need of treats:

She barks so much at the mailman that once, I heard the mailman bark back.

Perhaps she is not actually in dire need of treats, as she’s put on a few pounds since my mother gave her to us. But, you see, I had to fatten her up a bit so she wouldn’t be as able to slip through every little crack in the fence. Also, she can jump over most fences as fast as she can spy a little Chihuahua on the other side, so fattening her up helped with that, too ( it’s like that saying: the Chihuahua’s always tastier on the other side of the fence). She’s a little bitey when she’s on the wrong side of the fence, so it was in everybody’s best interest to keep her on our right side of the fence.

Anyway, there’s my justification. You can probably tell by the rest of this blog that I’m not a disciplinarian. I admit it. Life’s too short to try and control everything.

Here is the recipe for Alice’s dog treats. I made it up myself, but there are a bazillion and one similar recipes out there. Many recipes call for garlic powder, though, which I did not add because after a little Googling I found that garlic can be poisonous to dogs. Perhaps it’s included to be more appealing to dog owners?

Alice’s Tasty UPS Men

1/2 cup room temperature bacon fat

1 egg

1 teaspoon sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt


2 cups whole wheat flour


1 cup water

1 cup buckwheat flour (although I’d wager oat flour would be good, too)


Roll to about a quarter-inch thick and cut into shapes. We used a tiny gingerbread man cookie cutter, but before that I was planning to make little squares and poke holes with a fork. Also, small pastry cutters would be cute and look a bit like kibble shapes. Cats would be perfect! Bake in a low oven, 325-350 degrees, for about half an hour, or until very stiff.

I don’t know how long they will keep for, but the bacon is quite fragrant so I think I’ll be keeping them sealed up in a baggy in the refrigerator.

To be quite honest, Alice usually hangs out with me while I’m cooking because I often toss the fatty bits of meat down to her. She catches it before it hits the floor, and I call her my little circus dog. When I’m baking cookies she doesn’t really bother– but this time she smelled the bacon fat and was extremely attentive! I tested the dough out on her and she licked it right up. What dog doesn’t like bacon? Be prepared, though, to crack open the windows, because the bacon really scents up the whole kitchen towards the end of the baking time. It kind of grossed me out a little. I might be a closet vegetarian.

And my husband thinks I’m silly, baking treats for the dog– but he lets her ride in the front seat of the car, so I don’t think he’s really in a position to judge my baking choices.

As for reading, I’m just starting Nesbø’s The Devil’s Star. The opening chapters were quietly stomach wrenching. Yet I kept reading! It’s not so much that I like being grossed out, because I don’t. I do, however, enjoy the way Nesbø does the grossing out. There’s a sense of humor embedded in the tragedy of it, and I think that’s what makes it not only palatable but skillfully done. It is interesting, too, because I am going backwards through the books, and Harry Hole is at an earlier stage of degeneracy. Is that even the most accurate word? Maybe not.

I am listening to this:

Mikael Simpson is putting out a remix album, which I am waiting for with bated breath. I hope it’s not just going to be on Danish iTunes forever! That would really drive me nuts. Also, I wonder what the hell he is saying, and I’ve half a mind to write him for the lyrics and translate them, because 1) I’m godawful curious, and 2) I’m still a linguist at heart.

As for writing, I accomplished some pages today but then hit a too-much-coffee haze and so now I think I have to type up what I have and get myself sorted. I am proud of myself, though, for not giving into that temptation to research just yet. For me this is a genuine pitfall, even though of course it has to be done eventually. The thing takes place in the 1920s, so it’s just inevitable. However, if you’ve read my blog before, I get a little too immersed and then sidetracked by research, and it is safer for me to have a more focused kind of study after I’ve got the bones of the story down. At least, that method’s helpful so far.


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