Shredded Tweets

My husband very kindly went forth and foraged yesterday. I sent him out– he had another errand– with a list, and one of the things on the list were Mini-Wheats. I don’t like the brand name ones, only the ones from Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods, because the brand name Mini-Wheats contain sorbitol! I don’t think anything that ends with -ol belongs in a breakfast cereal, really. Ethanol? Nope. Luminol? Nope. Alcohol?  Nope. Wait, that’s okay. Ha! But you get my point.

The very kind husband thinks that sugar is Satan in a Sunday Hat, so he came back with plain mini-wheats. Just wheat (which is funny, because he is Paleo and anti-wheat, as well. Maybe wheat is just Satan’s handmaiden?). That’s it. For a six year old. I don’t think so. So, what do you do with a box of plain mini-wheats when you don’t actually like plain mini-wheats? Well, if you are me, you try to make cookies out of them. Here is my recipe for Shredded Tweets:

1 stick butter (everything good starts with a stick of salted butter, I think).

1 c. brown sugar


1 egg

1 capful vanilla

A healthy dash of cinnamon.

A healthy dash of Five Spice.


2 c. crushed mini-wheats (I used plain. If you use a sugary one, you may want to adjust the sugar earlier.)

2 or 3 T. half and half (Or milk, or water. This is to soften the mini-wheats a bit.)

1 c. chopped dates (I used this because it is what I had in the refrigerator, but I bet currants or raisins or cranberries would be good, too. I saw other recipes online that included chocolate chips, but I didn’t really want that today.)

Mixmixmix and let sit for 5-10 minutes.

1 c. flour (I used all-purpose white.)

1 tsp. baking powder

Mixmixmix, then drop by spoonfuls onto a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 375 (though my oven’s wimpy. 350 on a normal oven might do) for about 20 minutes. They’re rather dense. Iso had one straight outta the oven, so they are kid approved– and my sugar-is-satan, paleo-husband snagged two, which is unheard of. So this means they are a success!

If I hadn't held one up, it'd look like a plate with a big cow patty on it. But they taste really good.

In other news, my mom had cataract surgery yesterday morning, and one of the instructions they gave her was to not sign any legal documents that day.

As soon as we were in the car, she started talking about her real estate investments and plans for them, and then started telling me what a beautiful, wonderful daughter I am. This lasted quite a while, and continued until we made it to a Denny’s, where I told her, “Hey, mom, let’s go buy me a car! And I want custody of your chihuahua! Bwahahaha!” and only then did she realize what she was doing. Subliminal nurses! I don’t think she would have even gone down that road if the nurses hadn’t mentioned it while she was still woozy.

Seriously, she looked like Petey from Our Gang.

Also, she was as high as a kite. She was like a little mole pirate, or one of those dogs with mismatched eyes, with one pupil as dilated as a pupil can get, and the other pupil a tiny little pinprick. And all she wanted to do, blind as a bat and addle-headed from the anaesthesia, was shop. She wanted to go to Barnes and Noble. I reminded her that the nurse had told her to go home and rest. Not go shopping and read. She had just had eye surgery, for crying out loud! Moms, I swear. One day I will perplex Isobel more than I already do, of this I am sure.

During the surgery, I wrote and wrote. I wrote a few pages in the waiting room, and then more pages outside in the car (Gorgeous weather! Not using the word gorgeous lightly, either!). Despite all this progress on Project 1, Project 2 is languishing in a slightly used notebook, and I’m crushing after it something horrible. When I am at the end of a good-sized chunk in Project 1, I’m going to shift gears and work on Project 2 for a little bit. Or maybe I should alternate days? I just don’t want to lose my ideas to The Ether. Maybe Project 1 is for the daytime hours, and Project 2 is for the nighttime? There’s got to be a way.

Well, Iso’s playing quietly, so I’m going to use this time wisely and work on Project 2. While I am doing so, I am listening to this:

So far, it looks like Sleep Party People  (and doesn’t this video remind you of early Grandaddy, when they used to hide behind potted trees, crossed with Danny Darko?) isn’t available in the US, but I hope that changes. Quickly, dudes, quickly. Until then, thank God for Soundcloud! I thought they sounded familiar, and sure enough, The Sleepover Disaster was on a list with them a while back. Viva la Sleepover Disaster!


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